I have to admit that I really enjoy incredibly inflated job titles (e.g. Train Manager, Vending Machine Relationship Manager, that sort of thing). But the new vacuum cleaner that my parents got this weekend really takes the biscuit. Look:

Yes, that’s right. It’s obviously done very well in recent cleaning-related projects and found itself hired into the lofty position of Dust Manager. One can only imagine the career it will enjoy over the next few years.

Anyway, I thought it would be handy for me to show you part of the org chart for my parents’ domestic appliances so that you can see where the new recruit fits in:

I’ve uploaded the very first few entries in the archives and will continue to fill in the gaps over the next few weeks.  Re-reading some of the entries reminds me of the fun I had in the spring/summer of 2002 when I was working in London and got to spend a lot of time in the flat and with my flatmates.  I also realised that this blog will be four years old in 24 days.  Maybe I’ll try and get all the archives sorted by then (after all, I currently have a lot of experience of working towards arbitrary targets).

Er, yes. Two weeks down in my three-weeks of hidesousness so time for a little treat.

An import? From Hong Kong? What could it all mean…

Woohoo. Yes! I could hold off no longer and so I shall very soon have yet another piece of gadgetry to accompany me on my journeys. Now to decide on games. I’m thinking Mario Kart DS and Sonic Rush for starters and then Brain Age and New Super Mario Bros. when they’re released. But what do you think I should get (apart from very, very excited)?

Taken from the Apple store:

Take a look at the engraving on the left-hand iPod. Ah, yes, that common scenario. Thank goodness for Apple!

From a discussion at dinner today, I devised the following joke.  Sorry.

Why did the man wearing shorts, football boots and shinpads fail his driving test?

Because he was in the wrong gear.

(Yes, things are *that* bad)

Wow. It’s every bit as bad as I imagined it would be. Still, four days down (and lalalalala I can’t hear you days to go). Actually, inventing the montage machine is a more reasonable request than some of the ones that have come my way so far this week…

Russ‘ reply to that montage post gave me an excuse to smile during an otherwise grim day today though:

I’ll get right on it Mr G!

MONTAGE SEQUENCE CONSISTING OF:

Pacing back and forth in room.

Going to library, getting lots of books, taking to check-out desk.

Furious typing on crappy Dell laptop running Microsoft Hollywood XP.

Shown in animated conversation with lots of intelligent looking people some in front of blackboards covered in complex looking but really A-level mathematics.

Scribbling on lots of bits of paper.

Showing trees being logged (to keep up with paper demand).

Screwing up bits of paper and failing to land them in the bin until that final one…

…and we’re done – punching air with fists and walking around in the sunshine to happy “isn’t life great?” music.

I think, in true Spaced style, that music could only be S’il Vous Plait by Fantastic Plastic Machine.

• I’ve pretty much decided to get a DS Lite when they’re released in this country (I had a look at getting an import from Japan but they were out of stock and expensive; I can wait). Should I also decide on a “big” console then I think it’ll be the Revolution. But we’ll see.
• I got Photoshop Elements 4 from Adobe without further incident. I’ve barely had time to play with it (due in part to the fact that Final Cut Studio arrived at the same time) but it has some interesting new features to investigate.
• I booked my Scolidays off work. Actually, I booked the majority of my leave for the year which has left me feeling much happier (it’s nice to look at the wallchart and see something breaking up the endless weeks of hotel living).
• I bought lots more music. I’m particularly liking the new Placebo album “Meds” at the moment. List update to come in the next week or so.
• I will be importing the archives of this weblog.  But a bit at a time and only when I have nothing else to do.

I sometimes wish that I could slip life into “montage mode”. Right about now I’d hit that button, the Queen song “Under Pressure” would start to play and there’d be lots of arty shots of me designing database queries, working late and chewing lots of Jolt gum. The button duly released, I could continue with my life without having to actually go through the next three weeks of inevitable hideousness. Oh, the hidesousness? My boss is away on holiday. I’m covering. And the powers that be have decided that *everything* is changing (which would be rather a lot of work even if he were around).

Wish me luck (and if you have any spare time then making a start on that magic montage machine would be great, kthx).